He’s Soooo Cheap…

How Cheap Is He? Those of you who are old enough to remember Johnny Carson, will get it.

I have a co-worker. He is cheap. Not just frugal, mind you (this is MIL’s word – she, too, is cheap, but refuses to be called cheap), but cheap. Those other of us in the office occasionally bring in treats of some sort, or even provide lunch. Nothing fancy, but one of us will bring a crock pot of chili or chicken and noodles, grill burgers, you get the idea. Not B. Twice a year, almost by clockwork, B will bring in a pan of brownies his wife has baked. He takes credit, although we all know his wife has done it.

(He calls her Mother. I don’t know about you, but I have a Dad and my Husband is NOT my dad, so unless I’m talking to my children I refuse to call him Dad.)

The rest of the time, B feels not one bit of shame at helping himself to whatever goodies we bring. I’m talking helping himself. If he had a wooden leg, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him stuffing it full of chocolate chip cookies!

Occasionally he brings treats. For himself. He brings them into the office and sneaks them into his desk drawer. The other guys go in when he’s outside and see what he’s brought. Just for fun. We have a pop machine twenty feet from his office door and the pop is 50 cents. Pretty cheap in this day and age. He brought in a little refrigerator and keeps his pop in it. Same kind. HIS.

One day he brought in a big, mouthwatering cinnamon roll. Two of us saw him bring it in… something, anyway. He snuck it down by his side and tried to act nonchelaunt (sp?) as he walked through the office. It only made us suspicious. We checked his drawer while he was in the bathroom. Oh…how good it looked! Two hours later, I saw him sneak it back out of his desk and over to the storage room, where I presumed he ate it as he didn’t have it when he came back out ten minutes later.

He’s always up for free lunches if one of the salesmen are buying, but if it’s up to him to buy his own lunch he’ll just go home where “Mother” will make his lunch. (Yes, she works full time).

When you pitch in to buy a gift from the office, he’s always the last one to contribute and often has to be reminded several times of the amount – as though he can’t remember it’s ten dollars. Uh huh.

He was on vacation last week, but had to stop by the office one evening for something. One of the other guys had a newspaper laying on his desk he’d not gotten around to reading yet. When he came in the next day, the paper was gone. Who could have taken it? B. Only he is too cheap to go buy his own. He wanted the grocery ads.

The only guy cheaper that him that I know is my BIL. That’s another story.

Back In the World

Hi everybody! Thank you to all of you for your kind words. “Ye warm the cockles of me hart…” Oooo…that was bad. At any rate, I’m back in the land of the living. It’s been a crazy week. I’ll try to nutshell it for you:

Monday: Work for a few hours, then Hubby asks me to go trucking with him to Cedar Rapids hauling corn. As weird as it sounds, that usually turns out to be quality time with him. He doesn’t have TV distractions, or phones ringing, and we just ride along and visit. I enjoy going.

Tuesday: Turning inside out. Why? Who knows. Throw up so hard I pull a muscle in my back. WTF? I didn’t need THIS!

Wednesday: Ice. Pack. Sit. Read.
Thursday: ditto
Friday: ditto
Saturday: ditto

See? …and you thought I’d been having fun without you!

I must mention I read a good book (well, I actually read 5, but I’m only discussing one). If you haven’t read The Time Traveler’s Wife , you should. That’s all I’m saying, ’cause I don’t want to ruin for you if you haven’t read it, but it’s much better and more interesting than I thought it was going to be.

Saturday, Youngest Son won his race! Whoo hoo! He’s back in the lead on track points and there is only one more “official” race to go. If he finishes the race – even if he doesn’t win – he should be the track champ. Don’t tell anyone – we’re planning on camping at the track next weekend. If you tell MIL I’m gonna hunt you down and punish you severely!!! Yeah, we’re being sneaky. We’re going to try and go without telling her. Of course, she goes every weekend to the race with Hubby, so he’s going to have to get reeeallly creative with his story. I’m not sure what he’s going to say, but supposedly he’s got it all worked out. Between you and me, I’ll believe it when I see it. I’m sure there is going to be some glitch and we’ll be thrown back into the twilight zone of MIL and the RV, but we can hope, right?

Hubby is sitting on the deck last night: Do you ever get the feeling things are going tooo good?
Me: Quite a change from a week ago, huh?
Hubby: Yeah. Scary.
Me: Glad we don’t live in New Orleans. Those poor people. Can you imagine having to leave your home and not knowing if it’s going to be there the next time you see it?
Hubby: Yeah. Some newscaster said this could be the end of New Orleans!
Me: We’re very lucky.

We’re so thankful for our family, friends, and good fortune. Take a minute to hug the ones you love. Thanks again, blogfriends… it’s always amazing to me how people can connect over this weird thing called the internet.