This is my eldest son’s birthday. He is a poor blogger, as he claims he only blogs when he’s upset about something, so maybe that’s a good thing. He hasn’t posted for awhile. Still, pop on over to Front Step and give him a Happy Birthday – maybe that’ll get him going again. You can check out The Dark Madness – there is a post dedicated to him there, too.
I am so proud of this man. Yes, he is a man… 28 years old today. He was just a baby when his father and I divorced and he went through the custody issues before he was old enough to understand what was going on. He and his older sister were shuffled from a strained family situation, to living with the ex’s at his parents’ home, to finally being allowed by the courts to come to this new home with myself and my new husband.
Side note: My husband is a remarkable person. He stood by he through it all and accepted my kids as his own… gritting his teeth every time the kids went to the ex’s for weekends, he felt as though he was sending his own kids off to someone else for the weekend. He hated it, but he tolerated it for my sake… and for the kids.
We tried very hard to ‘play nice’ where the kids were concerned. We didn’t bad talk the ex or his family, and I tried very hard to keep him involved in the kids’ life. I would arrange meetings to give him report cards, school photos, to talk about what was going on in their lives, and I always let him know when there were ballgames, plays, or other school events that I encouraged him to participate in. I tried to make him feel comfortable when he did come – and not feel as though he was in the spotlight.
Somehow, he managed to still drop out of their lives. The new woman in his life that eventually became his wife may have had something to do with it. She wanted children, but never warmed to the kids. After trying to “buy” their love and having them see right through that, she pretty much gave up. Gradually he would be busy on the weekends and ask me to keep the kids. I was secretly thrilled. I loved having the kids with me! He wouldn’t come to the school events, and over the years he even began to forget birthdays, holidays and other special events. His mother would call the eldest daughter and let her know about family things, but no one called the son. Why? No reason. His phone number didn’t change. They knew where to find him… they just figured daughter would tell him. Still, it’s hard not to feel included.
Years passed and things haven’t changed much. They still don’t call. I know he’s hurt, but he puts on a ‘game’ face and is a bigger person than I would be. I am so proud of him. He recently graduated from college after years of hard work. On. His. Own. He deserves all the success he can grab – he’s been hard at it for a long time.
He’s a terrific guy. Someone any mother would happy to call their own. He is nice looking, has a great sense of humor, smart and kind. How many people do you know that are still good friends with their high school buddies at the age of 28? He is. Not only with high school friends, but he’s met others and is a great friend to them all.
I had some other wonderful things here, but damn blogger lost it… sigh …. figures. Suffice it to say, I love this guy… Happy Birthday, Baby!