Misery Loves Company

Well, Hubs’ doc called the other night – rather late, I thought for a doctor call. He threw me because of the late hour, and the fact he called my phone instead of Hubs’. Hmmm… Seems the labs just came back. Hubs is Type II diabetic… just like me. Shit. He has his physical today, but the doc evidently had forgotten that and wanted to be sure he got the news right away. It threw both of us into a small tailspin until we both realized it could have been something much worse. This, at least, is treatable and with as “good” as I know Hubs will be, he’ll be right as rain in no time.

I told him… I hope this wasn’t God’s little trick to make ME be “good”… that just wouldn’t be nice, now, would it?

A Word From Our Sponsors

I would just like to say how touched I was by the previous post comments. You guys just warm my heart… thank you. It always blows me away how close I can feel to people I have never met and who I’ve only gotten to know through reading about their lives, hopes, troubles, heartaches, and joys on their blogs. The outpouring of support when I or someone I know is sick or troubled or just plain irritated with the world is overwhelming. Your words of encouragement overshadow any doubt that creeps into the picture and keeps the world a better, brighter place for me and mine.

Thanks for being there – you know who you are. You have become truly terrific friends.


Who am I?

To my immediate family I’m warm, witty, generous, honest, open, loving, and a bit raunchy. I have been known to say anything.

To my lesser immediate family I’m cool, polite, friendly (usually while biting my tongue), and hard to talk to.

To my co-workers I am friendly, intelligent, a ‘mother figure’, slightly tempermental, dependable.

To my (few) real life friends I’m helpful, a good listener, a cheerleader, caring and thoughtful.

To my online friends (of which I count several) I am ?

In my own mind? Complex. Very complex. A hard shell with a gooey middle. Slightly (maybe more than slightly) insane. Not your typical 49-year-old woman.

This was hard.

*from Brad

I Don’t Understand

I don’t understand why the male of the species has some of those perks they have. For instance, every man I’ve ever known in my life has long eyelashes. Naturally long eyelashes. Lovely skin. Easy care hair. They jump in the shower and 10 minutes later can be perfect and ready to walk out of the house, you know, into the public… Now, every woman I know has to have at a minumum twice that time, and usually three or four times that amount of time to accomplish the public face.

As women age, they get wrinkles and saggy boobs and gray hair that persists on appearing regularly no matter how much we try to dye the living shit out of it. Men? They can wear the gray hair proudly and everyone talks about how ‘distinguished’ they look. Their wrinkles are ‘laugh lines’. They get a pot belly or ‘love handles’… well, normally society just looks right past that.

If a man decides he wants to do something about the body, they change three things in their diet and poof! twenty pounds drops off. A woman exists on twigs and air and gains five pounds.

Are ya seeing a theme here? Yeah… My hubs just lost a bunch of weight without trying. Panic-motivated a doctors’ appointment to make sure he wasn’t diabetic or something, but although that’s not been confirmed until Friday, the fact that the doc hasn’t called in a panic about his blood test tells me he’s just healthier than he’s ever been.

Yesterday we both got our eyes checked. Him? His eyes are BETTER. Yeah, you heard me right… and I don’t mean a little bit, I mean a lot. Me? Still blind as a bat. Yep. Looking into some new contacts… no? My astigmatism is too bad? My bifocal power is that of a 70-year-old?

You get the picture.

It’s not fair. I’m gonna go pout now.

Not the Old Troubles, But the New Ones

I swear, the dark cloud is over my head right now…

My father just got of a quick overnighter in the hospital. Why? Good question. We don’t know exactly why yet. I want to take someone and strangle them.

He started having double vision yesterday afternoon and it bothered him to the point he had my mother take him to the emergency room. If you knew my dad, you’d know what a big – no huge – thing this is. He doesn’t like doctors, he thinks he’s self-sufficient, and he doesn’t want to bother with it. He always figures it’s “no big deal”. Obviously, this time he thought maybe it was.

They are looking into options like stroke, or vision troubles like detached retinas. However, we won’t know more until Monday because it was the weekend and God forbid you should want an eye exam or an MRI on a Saturday. You might interrupt someones’ …er… golf game.

So, he’s home again and still seeing double. He’s going to hopefully get an MRI on Monday and be checked by his eye doc. Keep a good thought, please… I’ll keep you informed.

Will Work for …. Money!

See this guy? Isn’t he cute? I’ve heard he’s quite talented, too, but haven’t had the opportunity to see him in action. He’s quite the jokester and a huge fan of “Louie Louie” and penguins of all sizes, colors and flavors.

He is in a work slump and needs our help to get the word out that he’s young, cute and available. Okay, two out of three ain’t bad.

Think about him for your next get-together. Be it the office picnic or the backyard bbq, he’s your guy. I’ve heard he can do kid-friendly shows, and, I’m guessing, not-so-kid-friendly shows. Depending on the audience. I don’t know how much he charges – that’s negotiable and between you all.

I just know he’s cool. I mean, he’s got to be cool – he’s from the midwest! Plus, all “contacts” I’ve had with him (get your mind out of the gutters, people) have been very enjoyable.

See Andy over at Andyland… oh, and tell him Sue sent ya.

The Friendship That Can Cease Has Never Been Real.*

Sorry it’s taken so long to get back. The cold was a nasty one – the kind that clings. I feel back in the living now. It will probably take me awhile to get caught up with all of you so I apologize in advance and ask for patience.

Having said that, my heart is breaking… some family troubles that I can’t talk about now. Sometime I’ll probably end up sharing, but not yet. Sorry if I’m not myself… I’ll work on it.

For those of you who are still here, thanks for coming by… the rest? I hope to see you soon.

*St. Jerome

The Visit

You know how I’ve talked about my family and how open we are and how close we are? That only goes so far. That is my immediate family. Myself, Hubs, the kids, and their significant others.

I’ve talked about MIL during race season and have received sypathetic responses.

I’ve talked about my BIL and SIL during various times and have been grateful to be an only child.

I’ve rarely talked about my parents here, but have gotten into it extensively on the Dark Madness.

Which brings us to today. After my parents retired and moved to another state, 10 hours away, I didn’t see much of them. We’d try to get down there a couple of times a year, but usually it was a long drive down, stay a day or two, and a long drive back. Twice a year.

When my parents house burned to the ground a year ago January, I was as shocked as everyone else. I invited them to stay with us, which they did for about 6 weeks. Amazingly, we all seemed to survive that experience and they bought a house back in the town they’d retired from. Now they are only 40 miles away.

After they first moved I was going to see them practically every week. I helped them find stuff for the house, pictures, etc. I helped them get their computer set up and helped with various problems and questions. Then we got busy in the field and I didn’t see them so much. At special occasions I would call them to come up and on my birthday in December we went to their place for dinner. Christmas was the last time we saw them.

Today I’m to go for a visit. I have a knot in my stomach. I’ve put this off now twice in the past few weeks, feigning sickness or work. Why? …ah… the subconcious is a wonderful thing. Although I put all the “bad” stuff behind me a few years ago and “forgave” them, I’m just not comfortable around them. Isn’t that terrible? To be uncomfortable around your own parents. If I thought my kids were uncomfortable around me I would feel horrible, crushed even. I go to visit and we chit-chat about the family, people they know, the animals, what they’ve been doing lately, their health. We chit-chat as strangers. My mom and dad will give me a hug hello and a hug goodbye and I will cringe. God, I hope my kids never cringe when I want to hug them. I hear them say, “love you” and it sounds hollow in my ears. I say, “love you too” and it sounds even worse.

When do we finally let go of all the shadows? I no longer hold hate for my parents, or fear… only some pity for the things they’ve done. I no longer cower before them. But to know them? Like them? Enjoy their company? I only wish…

Something In the Water?

Last weekend I was talking to a co-workers’ wife at our annual Christmas party. (Yes, I did say Christmas party – we’re not known for punctuality.) We were discussing the fact that we just had one co-worker who was leaving for Alabama the next day because his grandfather had passed away. That led us to the fact that another co-worker had his brother suddenly taken in a freak car accident, and two weeks later yet another co-worker had his relatively young father die suddenly.

The woman was saying that her father had passed away in December (which I knew) and they had had 14 – yes, fourteen – people they knew pass away since then. Fourteen in less than three months.

I know they say as you get older more people you know die, but c’mon… this is ridiculous. Guess it’s a lesson, huh? Give someone you love a call, a hug, and tell them how you feel. …oh, and don’t let them drink the water…