Advice Taken (Update on 2-Cents)

What a nice bunch you are! I ask for advice… and you actually answer me! I love my blog-buddies…

Okay, here's the scoop. I did talk to my son. First off, I was rather amused to find that his fiance was under the impression I hadn't even been invited! She was ready to get into it with her family for not inviting me. Gosh! Luckily, he spoke to youngest daughter the day before and she told him I had been invited and was trying to figure out what to do. Crisis averted! Whew!

My son and DIL2B were both fine with me not attending. Although I've only spoken to him so far, I'm going to call her – probably tonight. He had already told her I might not go, however, and she had no problem with that. I will also be a good RSVP-er and call and let the hostess know I'm not going to be able to attend. I don't think I'll have to come up with an excuse, but I have plenty if I need one – actually, a very valid one is that spring field work is just around the corner and we may be busy farming by then. The other ones are still hovering in the back of my mind, but this is the one that is the most important and has the least amount of guilt associated with it.

I thought Jen had a terrific idea with the whole sending food thing, but then I realized these people are probably in another stratosphere where "taste" is concerned and I'm not sure I'm up to their standards. Yes, our son is marrying a very lovely girl, but she's also from a very "well-to-do" family. As down-to-earth as she is, her family is, well… not. So, I will probably do the second most suggested thing and just find a gift from the registry and send it.

After discussion with Hubs, it was decided that even if no one else holds a shower for DIL2B in our part of the country, I and my daughters will. I know son was saying she felt she didn't have many friends here, but after talking to him we came up with several names of people that they hang around with and she is friends with – as well as the several family members on our side that live in the area, like my mom and MIL. I think we'll be able to come up with a good group. Yes, I'll invite her mother and sisters as well… and unlike me, they probably WILL come.

The next hurdle… should I invite members of my ex's family to the shower I have? Yikes. My son is by my previous marriage and although we divorced when he was 2, there has still been contact. I'm not sure if they would have their own shower for her? There are several of them: I would invite my ex-mother-in-law, ex-sister-in-laws (2), and ex-brother-in-law's wife. Probably would invite my ex's current wife, also. Hmmm… maybe this requires another phone call with my son.

Wedding for younger son isn't nearly as complicated.

Revealed (a Rant)

Spring and warm weather and snow melting does not always reveal good things. Out here in the country – we are only about 3 miles from town – we get a rash of other things showing up when the snow melts. Namely, we get trash. Dumped in the ditches along the road, out in fields, wherever some cheap-minded city-folk decides he can get away with hauling his crap to and not get caught.

Some time during the winter we've had a recliner (chair)… recently joined by 10 black plastic bags, which may or may not be full of yard waste (but really, do they think the black plastic is biodegradable?)… and a console TV. One year Hubs found some bags of trash dumped near a driveway to one of our fields and the idiot was dumb enough to leave mail in the sack with is address on it. Needless to say, he got to come out and clean up the mess and received a hefty fine. Littering is not legal here… not that it seems to stop people. We've had construction debris, old water heaters, too many sacks of trash to count, and any number of cans and bottles (which are returnable for money in this state).

It's discouraging to say the least. Just because we live in the country doesn't mean we should have to put up with that crap. We don't haul our trash to your back yard!

Give Me Your 2 Cents Worth – Or More, If You’re Feeling Generous

Here goes.

I've been asked to attend a wedding shower for my eldest son's fiance and her sister, who is getting married in May. The shower is in another state, several hours away. I would need to stay overnight the night before and the night of, and there would be lots of driving involved. I'm thinking a joint shower is a terrific thing for the girls' families and family friends… but I really a.) don't need to be getting a gift for the sister of our son's fiance b.) can't get excited about spending two nights away from home and lots of driving which would also involve much planning for hubby care and critter care c.) most likely will be my normal anti-social-totally-uncomfortable-out-of-place self and d.) am being a tight-ass and don't feel like I have the $$ to spend for all that.

So, my question is this. Am I being wrong to not go?

I love this girl my son is marrying. I think she is the sweetest most lovely young woman. I have some not-so-generous thoughts about her family and the way this wedding was originally approached by her family and their reaction to my son – after, I might add, several months of dating. I'm trying to overcome those feelings and let them all be in the past. I'm trying not to let those feelings affect how I'm approaching this shower situation. Maybe I'm too close to it, though. Maybe I'm just making excuses (that wouldn't be too big of a stretch, especially where (c.) is concerned). I'm thinking I could be over-thinking it, too. Perhaps they just extended the invitation because of the well-bred people they appear to be and as the mother of the groom they feel I should be extended the invitation, but really don't have any expectation of my arrival.

I'm opening this up to you. Discuss.

Thursday Randomness

  • Spring has finally come. Yesterday, parts of the state were almost in to the 80's…with humidity! We had thunderstorms in the morning. Early morning. We're talkin' 3 a.m.  Ya know, when I was younger and not in this "farm" stuff, a thunderstorm was a wonderful adventure. I used to love hearing it boom and crackle and watch the lightening streak across the sky and the wind howling, lashing rain against the windows. Now I temper it against "are there crops in the field?" and "is this going to make it hard to get the field work done?". Ach. I've become a farm person. Still and all, I was okay with storms when  there is nothing in the field crop-wise and no field work to do. Like now. I said I was okay with it… until last year when the house got hit by lightening. Now I'm paranoid. I no longer feel that sense of "let the weather rage outside for I am warm and cozy and safe inside". Noooo… not so safe now. Crap.
  • You know I hate to beg, but please go visit Em's site and stop by often. She's afraid I'm the only one reading and I'm afraid if she feels that way she'll stop blogging and we all know how much I'd REALLY hate that. I mean, I see her little enough and we live in the same house! I know if you went to see her you'll like what you find.
  • I don't normally talk politics. I don't think I'm entitled to, as I don't feel I really know what's going on. We live in the midwest and no matter how many news articles, television, internet, what-have-you, when we get our information it is all second-hand and no matter how "truthfully" it has been reported, there has been a spin put on it. That I don't doubt a bit. There was an anti-war demonstrations in town the other day. For the most part peaceful. I found it interesting that there were about 300 people on one side of the road protesting the war and one lone guy on the other side. After having spoken to several people about it, I was surprised how many people should have been standing with the lone guy… but didn't. I'm not political, but when I've spoken to former soldiers and soldiers' families, they all agree they want to be there – they don't want to be pulled out until they feel they've won. They think if we pull out now all of their friends and fellow soldiers who have lost their lives will have done so for nothing. A point that keeps being forgotten is that these brave men and women volunteered for this – they weren't drafted. They are there fighting for us by choice… and they want to keep fighting. I respect them immensely and thank them for their service. I should hope people smarter than me are making the decisions.
  • I've got a wedding dilemma… will get your opinion on it later. Better brush up on your wedding protocol.  I'm expecting wisdom and good advice people.

Boredom

Yeah, I know… template has changed again. I didn't like the way I would scroll down the other one and the flowers would still stay in the same place. Also, I'm really not much of a "pink" person… a little goes a long ways. This one says "spring!" to me, too, without being quite so "girly". Did that make sense? Do I care?  It's Monday. *sigh*

Waiting

With all the snow we've gotten, and now the warmer weather, the inevitable has happened. It's melting. That means lots of flooding in various areas of the state. The creek outside our back door ran the highest I'd seen it for many years – but went down to normal levels pretty quickly. The large front yard where we used to live and our son lives now is about the size of a football field. The whole thing was flooded. Luckily, the house sits on a slight rise, so there was a ways to go before it would be flooded, however it was the highest I'd seen the water since the infamous "floods of '93" that was supposed to be a 500-year flood. As I drove to town one day last week, the whole bottom next to the Squaw Creek was flooded – the banks of the creek totally overrun.

Later that night, Hubs saw on the news where a 79-year-old man had gone missing in a small town to the north of us, and the rescue units were looking for him. Hubs recognized the name as a friend of his mothers', and checked with her (she had gone out of town with brother-in-law's family over spring break). She called back and checked with friends and discovered it was her friend. His wife had gone to town and when she returned home she found his garden tractor near the bank of Squaw Creek where it runs near their home. He evidently had been doing something to try and keep the water from coming up into their yard. Officials think he got too close and was swept away in the rushing water. He was finally found a few days later about one-half mile from his home. Dead.

When we were at the customer appreciation dinner last night we sat next to a neighbor of this man. It seems he had a dog that he took everywhere with him. The neighbor says the dog sits by the bank of the creek where the man went in – still waiting for his master to come home. Aren't critters amazing? So sad… not only the loss of this man in a needless accident, but the poor animal that can't understand that his master is never coming home.

Happy St. Pat’s Day!

st_pats_snow

I had a hard time getting this to come out big enough for you to see, but it's SNOWING. All that white stuff on the ground? Wasn't there last night. The grass was beginning to green up and tulip and crocus bulbs were starting to sprout. We even had a day or two in the seventies! I woke up this morning at 5 a.m. to take the pups out and there was a dusting of snow on the sidewalk, and the air was filled with flakes. This photo was taken a few minutes ago – about 8:30. It's still coming down pretty good. I haven't heard any forecasts, so don't know what they're calling for. I do know we're not supposed to be too cold, so don't think this will stay long…and it is very beautiful coming down… but…

It's supposed to be spring!

Hubs is sitting in the house being "mr. grumpy" because he had plans of working in the yard today (still trying to get rid of some of the ice storm debris) and his plans have been dashed. He doesn't do well with boredom. Unlike me, he doesn't have the necessary skills to "entertain himself" and gets into what he calls the "bored but lazy" mode. This is not a fun state to be in, trust me.

The good news, is, it is St. Patrick's Day! My paternal family is from Cork County, Ireland, and for my father St. Pat's day has always been bigger than Christmas. He's retired now, but in his younger day he would take off St. Pat's…and the next day… and spend the day celebrating. Lots of butt-pinching, kissing, wearin' of the green, and sure…green beer. He's toned it down now to watching the parade and drinking green beer.

Me? I'm proud of being Irish even when it isn't St. Pat's… and everyone else claims to be Irish. Youngest daughter, with her auburn hair, pale skin and devilish wit could be the poster girl (woman) for Irish heritage. I got my auburn hair from a bottle (better than white on this pale-face, trust me) but I have all the rest. Tonight we'll actually be going out. Rather an off-hand celebration – it's our seed corn company rep having his "customer appreciation" dinner – but it will be at a small local restaurant where you "burn your own" steaks and can drink like a fish if you so desire and is practically within walking distance of home. Seeing as it is free… all the better!

So, all of you out celebrating  – be good. Have fun. Please have a designated driver. And if you think about it, you can come take this snow. I've had enough now. Thanks.

Who’da Thunk?

Wedding_topperMy two sons are getting married. The eldest, in July, and the youngest next February. They are both marrying wonderful women. They are both having black and white weddings. That's where the likenesses end. However, who would have ever believed that it is my sons that are the traditionalists in their relationships?

I've been asked by both brides-to-be to help with various things such as cake-tasting (oooo…twist my arm again, please!). In chatting over wedding plans with each of them, it has been mentioned more than once by each of them that they can't believe the traditional thinking that is coming out of their grooms-to-be mouths. Well, they couldn't be more surprised than I am!

I admit, I'm a little bit different when it comes to the whole mom-thang. Yes, I have a phobia about wanting to know where they are or more importantly, how to get in touch with them at a moments notice. (I can't find my previous post about this, but will update when I find it)…But I am not all funny about needing to have 10 grand-kids or demanding they all have the "big" wedding productions. Amazingly, I'm finding that the boys are all for that! Huh. I guess you're never too old to learn something new about your kids.

Self-indulgence and Idiosyncrasy

I've admitted in many a post that I'm not typical. My views on many things are skewed, as are my relationships and tolerences. Yesterday a new kink was discovered. I have decided I must not like to be touched (except by Hubs, of course). I'll explain:

For Christmas my Hubs got me a gift certificate for a local spa. They have many different services – everything as basic as pedicures, to full body massages. I decided to treat youngest daughter (off on spring break) and myself to a couple of facials. Not having had one before, I wasn't sure what to expect. I figured it would be decadent and relaxing and a wonderful tension reliever. Well, silly me…

The woman was extremely nice. She was well-groomed and there was nothing to put me off about her, the room, or the ambiance. I was led into a small, dimly lit room with a massage table and "New Age-y" music swirling around the room. I was asked to partially disrobe and to make myself comfy. I lay on my back, and linked my fingers over my mid-section, patiently awaiting her return. It wasn't long.

She was very good at what she does, I'm sure. I had several layers of goop brushed on my face, hot towels to remove said goop, lots of massaging – including a deep massage that went into my neck and shoulders – right where I carry a lot of my tension. My problem? I'm not sure… I just kept catching myself tensing up. First I noticed the clenching of my jaw. I do this often when I'm stressed. I figure many times my tension-headache-turning-into-migraines start there. It is something I catch and if I catch it, can make myself stop. Unfortunately, I caught myself doing it over and over during the massage. The other thing I caught myself doing was tensing my arms and clenching my hands. You know, the ones that were resting gently across my mid-section. WTF?

This was supposed to be restful. Relaxing. Soothing. FUN, for god's sake.

What the hell is wrong with me? (That's rhetorical, people.)

One of Those Things That Pops in My Head When I Least Expect It

Who was the first guy to decide… "Hey! I'm losing my hair on top. I think I'll just let all this hair on the side grow long (only on one side, though) and comb it over the empty space to fill in. Then, I'm going to spray it will some heavy-duty hairspray so when I get in a stiff breeze, the whole thing will lift up in one big wing and I can pretend I'm flying! Of course, this new look will totally make me a chick-magnet. Much more so than letting all that bare skin on the top of my head show, 'cause you just know people hate the look of bare skin. Anywhere."

What a trend-setter.