The Man Factor

Andie brought up a point on her blog that I'd like to address. (She's private, so you may not get "in" to her.) She was talking about her experience being hassled in a store by someone trying to get her to sign up for some stuff and she kept saying 'no', but the guy wouldn't listen until she mentioned she had a husband, then he finally heard the word 'no'.

My experience is similar but different. Yes, I too have had the experience where the 'little woman' can't make the decision on her own so we mustn't talk to her – especially if the husband is standing right there. When that happens, my husband is quick to point out to them that I am the one making the decision, so they'd better snap to it and talk to me.

This happened when we built our new house. Hubs left it all up to me. The design, the furnishings, the location. He had input and I asked him for suggestions on areas that directly invoved him, but basically I handled it all. (He just wanted to know how much it cost.) He would have the contractor or electrician call him up with questions and he would always refer them to me. They learned quickly that calling him got them nowhere.

The farm is a joint effort. Although I work "in town" and he works the farm, he keeps me in the loop and even as he tries to get me to make decisions on equipment, I'll tell him that's "his department". I always tell him I don't expect him to buy the computers and he shouldn't expect me to make the decision on equipment. However, it is nice to be asked. He also makes all the marketing decisions – a job I don't envy one bit. Other day-to-day farm things are handled by him, too. I handle the bills and the bookwork. Occasionally there will be some mix-up and I'll have to call a vendor to try and straighten out the problem. Nothing makes me madder than to have them tell me "we can't talk to you about this because it is in your husband's name". Don't go there. My name is on it, you may just not see it. This irritates Hubs, too, and he's been known to call them up and chew them out for not talking to me. I don't want to hear you bring up privacy, 'cause it isn't the issue here.

My current pet peeve on this issue is my new car. Skippy the Deerslayer just had her first birthday on Friday. She turned one. I love her. No, I mean I like her a lot (you should never love something that can't love you back.). When we bought her the salesman learned quickly that she was going to be my purchase, my decision, and he was very good at speaking to me. From that point on, I've been pissed with the company. Why? Because every little email, survey, customer promotional material, reminders, everything comes in my husband's name. He won't even drive the thing!! I've told every person who called about the car that this needed to be changed, I've told the company where I bought it, I've indicated it in written responses. Everyone keeps telling me "we'll get that taken care of"… and, needless to say, nothing has been done. It really is souring me on the company. If they don't listen, it isn't likely I'll be back. Yeah. I'm like that.

So… have you had situations like this? Yes, I understand this can go both ways. Men, feel free to tell me if it has happened to you, too.