In case you missed it, that is my middle name.

I've never broken a bone, but how I managed not to is not from lack of trying. I'm not counting the endless times I tried to intentionally hurt myself. I'm talking about all the times it has been a genuine accident. I have fallen down the stairs… and up the stairs. Yes, up. I've tripped on my own feet, on sidewalk cracks, on curbs, on steps that are brightly marked as being a step, and have slipped and slid on ice and snow and gravel. I've fallen down walking through a grassy field…and stepped in a hole playing volleyball in a friends' back yard. I've fallen down when my hands were full…and when they were empty. I've fallen or tripped when I was actually focusing on trying not to fall or trip. (No, I don't have an inner ear problem.)

Yesterday morning was one of my stranger experiences in the world of klutzy-ness.

I have a big master bathroom. I have a big enough bathroom that I have a pen for my pups in it. When I first brought them home it just made sense as it was a linoleum floor and I figured it was handier than having them sitting in the middle of the kitchen. They like their pen and now spend a great deal of time in it. When I am getting ready for work in the morning we have a routine. I generally give them a treat before I start drying my hair or they bark at the hair dryer. Why, I have no idea… but the treat keeps them occupied and seems to help keep them quiet (sometimes my husband is still asleep in the adjoining bedroom, so having them barking at 4:30 or 5 a.m. isn't a great idea.). Until we built this house we had a very small bathroom (one. for six people.). When we designed this house we did the double-sink thing in the master bathroom and in-between is a space for a vanity and a small stool which I've come to like when putting on my face. So, anyhoo… I had turned around this morning to give the pups their treat, leaned toward them, and THUNK! I am suddenly sitting on my backside on the floor. The little stool (on wheels) slipped right out from under me… of course, popping my bad shoulder all wonky and whacking the back of my head on the chair.

Stop laughing.

I mean it.

I had a headache all day and the sore shoulders are more so, the neck now hurts worse, I'm feeling stiff and sore and stupid. Very, very stupid.

I don't even want to think about the next klutzy thing I'm gonna do. Seems I'm running out of new and different.