Still Here

Yeah, I'm still here. Lucky to get a post a week out, but hate to just give up the ghost and say "on hiatus"… or, even worse, "quitting the blog"…   sooooo I am posting just to let you know that neither of those are happening. Happy?

Been getting back in the swing of working, at least half days. The time change still has me messed up – more so than other times when it has changed. I'm not sure why. When I was at my mom's for that couple of months, my Hubs and daughter managed to get the puppies so they sleep later in the morning. That's part of it. I don't get awakened by quiet woofs at five a.m., so it is easier to sleep later. I suspect as things get busier at work and when the guys get in the field, then I will finally get back on my more normal schedule, but right now I feel like a lazy sack of shit.

Also been working with my mom on my dad's memorial service – or whatever you call it. We are going to have it in mid-April on his birthday. It happens to fall on a Sunday, so it will work out pretty well. We're just keeping it small, about 30 people, just mainly immediate family. I have a cousin who is a minister who is going to say a few words and one of my aunts has been putting together a DVD of pictures that were my grandparents. It should be neat. There is a chance of snow every day this week… hopefully by mid-April the weather will straighten itself out.

I've been (as always) struggling with my weight. I go up and down with the stress and lost about 10 lbs when I had that bad cold. Amazing how little you can eat when you can't taste anything. I've always said I'd be really thin if I hated food! At any rate, I am buying my son and daughter-in-law's treadmill off of them and hopefully will be getting into the swing of things soon. I'm hoping that helps, just to get moving. I'm such a couch potato. I like being outside, but I am challenged by cold-weather asthma if I try to walk in the cold, and a klutz gene which causes me to find any and all rough dips, holes, and other numerous places to fall or turn or sprain ankles when walking on anything but a perfectly smooth surface. So I'm thinking, treadmill is the key. 

If you are still here… thanks for dropping by. One of these days I may actually get back in the swing of things!

St. Pat’s

This St. Pat's day is bittersweet.This was my Dad's holiday.

My Dad was very proud of his true Irish heritage. Our family is one of the ones that really was from Ireland, not just claimed to be Irish on St. Pat's. To Dad, it was a bigger day than Christmas. When he was still in the work force, he would take off not only St. Pat's day, but also the day after… to recouperate. He spent the day celebrating in a small local Irish bar that surely quadripled its size on St. Pat's by putting tents out in the parking lot and having several extra serving areas.

One of my favorite memories of St. Patrick's Day and my dad was about 28 years ago when I was very pregnant with my youngest daughter. My in-laws had been invited to have supper with my parents, but I'm not sure my father remembered when he extended the invitation that it was on St. Pat's… and that they were German and Norwegian. 

Dad was tall. 6'5" tall. When he didn't show up at home (and back before the day of cell-phones), my Hubs and I were sent to find him and bring him home. We walked in the front of the bar and could see his head sticking up above the crowd near the back of the bar. Unfortunately, he saw us as well. Just like a little kid, he turned and walked the other way, parting the crowd as he fled out the back door. By the time we got to the back of the bar (me trying to get through a wall-to-wall crowd with my large tummy), thinking we'd find him standing outside waiting for us, we were surprised to find no sign of him. Tucking back into the back of the bar, we spy my dad… near the front! It became clear… he was avoiding us. 

Just like rounding up a truant kid, we split up and finally cornered him… and we eventually convinced him to come with us. It wasn't without a fight, tho'! He loved the crowds, the drink, the music, the whole thing. He didn't want his fun to end.

My Dad always wanted to go to Ireland. He wanted to go see where his family came from in County Cork. He wanted to submurge himself. He never went. Someday I hope to go to Ireland and take my Dad… spreading his ashes in the land he loved so much.

A Long Winter

I was under the mis-conception that last winter was a long one. Last winter went on and on into the spring with rain and cold and gloomy gray clouds that sucked the life out of everything and everyone. It took a toll on my eldest daughter, sinking her depression to lows that none of us thought could ever be. Not her. No way.

Then this winter came and it became a bit darker than the one before. Economic hard times have hit many families in so many ways. We've been lucky in that regard. We know it.

This winter snow became ice more often that snow. Ice that was slick and deceptive in patches. One thing led to another and friends were lost, family lost, injuries sustained. Then news filtered down about friends in the blogosphere losing loved ones, pets and human… children, parents. It seemed to go on and on. 

My daughter is back to struggling. Again. The ECT helped, but not, it seems, for very long. For a little while she was her old self again. Joyful, even. Now she has dark days which, although she's not had to be hospitalized yet again, lead me to fear it could be returning. The darkness that swallowed her once. Her doctor is changing her medications and she's been staying home from work… I'm hopeful that this will be a solution and not just a brief interlude. I love her so much… I don't want her to have these dark times. I want to take it away, to make it all better. Isn't that what mom's are supposed to do? 

The sun is out today, but the temperature is hovering barely above zero. It is deceptive… everything looks okay, but it isn't. I want this long winter to be over, in so very many ways. 

Hoping Winter Is Over

I've had enough winter. Decided to change my theme to reflect that. Snow, ice, cold. Blech. Used to be it didn't bother me as long as I didn't have to go out in it. I still don't mind having a good snowstorm, but ice? Nope. you can keep it. Ice has been one cold hard bitch this winter. Bring on spring… any time now.