Say Cheese **Updated**


I was requested to post a picture of our car, so here it is! I thought I had some better ones, but late last night when I remembered, I wasn't able to find more than a few from a drag race we went to several years ago. Those of you looking closely will see the hood is open. That's because the race had been run and Hubs was driving it back to the pits and was letting the engine cool. (Yes, that is my husband driving the car.)

In the interest of full disclosure I will now explain why I don't drive this car. It isn't because of my husband. It is because of guilt. Guilt and shame. Okay, guilt, shame and fear. Curious? One of my non-blogging friends in the real world who reads my blog (hi Susan!) will recognize this confession and can verify it is all painfully, shamefully, true.

Many years ago (in a land far, far, away)… no, that's another story.

A long time ago, shortly after Hubs had gotten the car and fixed it up somewhat, a bunch of my women-friends decided to have a get-together at one of their homes. We were all bringing munchies and cold beverages and conducting our own version of a stress management meeting. I decided to bring a melty-hot cheese dip – in my crock-pot. Hubs very sweetly let me drive the GN that evening with the promise I'd be very careful… and, knowing I had dip in the trunk, there would be no 'hole shots'.

Fast forward to picking up my friend (same one as named above) and carefully driving to the party. Basking in the oooing and ahhhing of my friends over Hubs' car, I started to unload my things. I pop the trunk latch to a horror fest. Yes, you all beat me to the punch line. The cheese dip had spilled. Panic. This couldn't be happening! I drove so carefully! How the hell did this happen? Worse yet, how was I going to fix it? The woman of the house brought out paper towels and cleaning solutions and I started to clean it out, but it was too much… waaaay too much.

Bright idea? Car wash! Yeah! That would do it! (I hear the collective groan from here. Trust me, I'm MUCH smarter now. I was young, dumb, and completely scatterbrained with panic.) I debated telling Hubs about it, then realized he would have to know. Bracing myself, I called him. Unfortunately, I was already at the car wash and my friend and I had already started power washing the trunk.

Bless his ever-lovin' heart, he didn't yell once.

The next day the sun was shining and it was warm out and he set the car outside with the trunk liner out, the doors open and tried to let it all air out and dry out. It helped, but didn't really solve the problem. Hubs ended up having to take the seats out and do some major cleaning to get the cheese all out.

The good news? He got a beautiful liner for his trunk… the ones with the GN logo that go in the trunk lid and make it all pretty so when you go to the local drive-in restaurants' "hot rod" night you can open up the trunk for viewing (as well as the hood to see all the chrom-y stuff, you know, engine and all)… and who knew that dryer sheets tucked under the seats could make the inside smell all better?

He always tells me this is "our" car, but really… it's his. I've learned my lesson. Cheese and Grand Nats just don't mix. No matter how many 'hole shots' you don't make.

**Update** Because you asked, I talked to my husband and got the "stats". It does 11.4 in a quarter mile at 120 mph. He's guessing it  goes faster than that (high 10's), but that was the official time the last time he went to the track. He no longer takes it to the drag strip… since our son started racing circle track he finds the drag racing rather boring.

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Middle-aged. Anti-social. Mom. Grandma. Town-raised farmer's wife. Iowan. Want more? Come read the blogs.

20 thoughts on “Say Cheese **Updated**”

  1. I once took my son’s beautiful new car to the drive through car was. When I thought I’d pulled the car up far enough, I put it in park and opened the door. Except, I didn’t make it to park. When I took my foot off the brake, the car started moving backwards. I had the door open, and crunched it on a concrete post. Unfortunately my thumb was between the concrete post and the car door edge. I had to call the kids to come get me, because I couldn’t drive for the pain. They had to take me to ER. Then I had to pay to have the door fixed. No wonder none of them will ride with me.

  2. I can think of several worse smelling things you could have spilled in the trunk. It wouldn’t be too bad driving around smelling like cheese dip.

    Mrs A. will NOT drive my 1977 Datsun 280Z. She is scared to death she will do something to it.

  3. Good thing Hubs loves you more than the car! 🙂

    Once, trying to do a good deed, we loaded up the trunk with a bunch of freshly butchered pork, and several packages of deer meet, and took it to some people, who were gone for the week, or something. Anyway, we made a stop at a store before going home, and drove around doing several other things. I’m not too sure how much longer afterwards, we started getting whiffs of something..not quite detectable, but not pleasant. Oh, forgot to mention it was in the middle of summer in N. Alabama. Finally, I suggested, one day, while driving by this particular location, that it must be a dead animal, or a dead PERSON, cause it smelled much too bad to be just a small animal. We drove up and down the road, always thinking that it was much worse in this one particular place. We even got out to look around, but could see nothing. Giving up, we went shopping, and when we opened the trunk, the smell almost knocked us over! All that meat intended as a good deed was now, a bunch of stinking, rotting, vomit-inducing mess! Don’t ask me why we could only smell it when out driving, and only in whiffs, but that’s how it happened. I don’t think that we ever completely got the smell of that stuff out of there, but at least we could never smell it inside the car. I told my husband we were lucky no cops ever lurked around our car sitting in a hot parking lot, or we might have been suspected of having a dead body in the trunk!

  4. That would totally happen to me. I don’t drive men’s cars most of the time, because of how they just ARE about them.
    I read a quote once that said something like “whether they are shiny and brand new or held together with duct tape, a man doesn’t want anything to happen to his precious car.” I’ve always believed that.

  5. that’s a cool as hell pic, sue! your husband looks like a bad ass behind the wheel! too funny about the cheesy dip. girl, you should see the stains in my car from shit that i’ve spilled in it over the years. in fact, yesterday morning i spilled an entire cuppa joe on the seat. i have yet to spill cheese dip though. i can imagine that was a bitch to get out. 🙂

  6. reminds me the time i took a corner too fast in my mom’s brand new camero and a gallon of grey paint spilled all over her front passenger seat area.


    yep, sometimes the car wash is all one can think of in moments of panic.

  7. Can I have the recipe for the cheese dip?

    I have no clue about cars… just that he loves his. And you love him And all is good in the world…

  8. RAOFLOL!! I confess, I didn’t read your confession because I was around when this happened the first time. 🙂 My confession…thought of you a week ago Monday with regard to your past mishap. If you have any hints on how to get milk & egg out of the trunk mat, I’d appreciate them (the hints). (I can HEAR you.) (No, it was NOT a crockpot full, just enough that on a hot day, it isn’t a good thing.) 🙂 Yes, I’m still laughing…. Maybe I’ll go back and read the full confession now….

  9. Drag racing? Is that where men run down the track wearing high heels? I think they have a drag strip in West Hollywood…

    I am so there….

  10. See, “Trust me, I’m much smarter now” is not a phrase I EVER want to hear. It’s like saying “Hey, hold my beer and watch this.”

    And you wonder why I say “click part two” to you.

    Also, cheese in hard to reach places? Ick. That car has to have smelled awful until it was all gotten rid of.

  11. Sweet sweet ride.

    I lost the transmission in the Olds once, -30, on my way home with a bunch of groceries, and just left them in the car until I could pick it up the next day.

    Unfortunately, one of the things that had rolled uder the passenger seat unnoticed was a braid of garlic. It continued to go unnoticed until things thawed in the spring for an entire weekend. My did it ever get noticed then.

    Love the cheese dip story!

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