Turkey Day

Today turned out a bit different than I'd planned. My parents were coming at 11 o'clock. At 10 o'clock the doorbell rang and it was my mother… bearing pies. Turns out, she was only bringing me the pies she said she'd make, then she was going back home! My father is sick and didn't want to come. He's not throwing up, coughing, or otherwise showing symptoms. My guess is depression, but no way to know. He won't go to the doctor and he won't talk to my mom about it. He just refused to come, saying he was sick… and had been saying he was for a couple of days. He told her she could stay, but she didn't want to, and he wouldn't let her call my son to meet her half-way to pick up the pies (it is a 40 mile drive one way, plus they had about 3" of snow when we only got about 1/2"). I'm wondering what is going on with him… and yet? I'm secretly glad they couldn't come. I know that makes me a horrible person.

Also missing was BIL. He decided he was too uncomfortable about his family situation so decided to pass. He never called us to tell us he wasn't coming, but he called MIL this evening and told her he went to a church for supper.

All in all, it turned out to be a smaller group, but we had a nice dinner and now have lots of leftovers. It was a good day with the family who could come.

Five days of Gratitude: Day 4 – I'm grateful that I have a beautiful house to clean and entertain in. I'm blessed to have a big beautiful kitchen in which to cook. I'm thankful to have the means to have enough to eat today as we celebrate Thanksgiving and all the other days of the year. I hope all of you who celebrate Thanksgiving had a wonderful meal and a great deal to be thankful for.

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Middle-aged. Anti-social. Mom. Grandma. Town-raised farmer's wife. Iowan. Want more? Come read the blogs.

10 thoughts on “Turkey Day”

  1. Hey, I love the new look of your place!

    Sounds like you had a nice Thanksgiving.

    Horrible person? No. All of us have, at one time, or another, had our ‘glad they didn’t come’ moments, but most of us are not brave enough to say it.

  2. Happy Thanksgiving! (And can I just say, I’m a little jealous that you have leftovers?? It’s moments like this I wish I was American…) 🙂

  3. Don’t feel badly about not wanting certain people there.

    My mother has gone totally psycho since her accident. Our culture and society has taught us not to wish people dead, not think like what you indicated above, etc. But I am an avid student of cultures, and do not subscribe completely to what we are taught by this culture.

    Those of you who do will think this is a horrible statement. It is not reflective of my emotions; just fact and reality.

    My life would actually be much better if my mother were dead. That does not mean that I wish her dead; it’s a fact that it would actually be better. I do not feel guilty about having “this thought”, since it reflects reality. The thought of what my brother and I are going to have to go through now that she has completely gone off the deep end is atrocious. All the women in my family, including me, are mental. At least I am medicated and very diligent about my disease. My grandmother, on the other hand, was awful as she approached death, and it started about the age my mother is. My brother and I have sworn off of her, the first time in her life where both children are on the “outs” with her. But we got tired of her rants to her friends about how worthless we are, her drunkenness, and hypocrisy and demands. Note that we have put up with this, and her physical abuse all our lives; so it’s not that she got ill and we turned our backs. But until she does die, it’s going to be HORRIBLE. So, never feel guilty about not wanting someone to show up for Thanksgiving. At least your life won’t be awful for the rest of their life.

  4. Happy belated Thanksgiving Sue. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself with the family who could make it.

    I love your 5 days of gratitude thing. I think that’s not a bad idea for listing one a day for a year. I may actually so that starting in 2008. (It helps ward off depression, if you’re continually counting your blessings. OK, and for me, the Zoloft helps too.) 😉

    Hope you’re enjoying the rest of the Holiday weekend!

    Love to you,


  5. Girlfriend, if being glad your parents didn’t come is bad, then sign me up for the club. We used to dread having my mother here, and whoever had to go pick her up was entitled to a long moan and bitch. In all honesty, her death freed up my life in so many ways. After my dad died, I spent so much of my life looking after her, taking care of things for her. She had her own place, not far from us, but I still had to see to so much. I didn’t realize how tied down and stressed out I had been until she died.

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