In case you missed it, that is my middle name.

I've never broken a bone, but how I managed not to is not from lack of trying. I'm not counting the endless times I tried to intentionally hurt myself. I'm talking about all the times it has been a genuine accident. I have fallen down the stairs… and up the stairs. Yes, up. I've tripped on my own feet, on sidewalk cracks, on curbs, on steps that are brightly marked as being a step, and have slipped and slid on ice and snow and gravel. I've fallen down walking through a grassy field…and stepped in a hole playing volleyball in a friends' back yard. I've fallen down when my hands were full…and when they were empty. I've fallen or tripped when I was actually focusing on trying not to fall or trip. (No, I don't have an inner ear problem.)

Yesterday morning was one of my stranger experiences in the world of klutzy-ness.

I have a big master bathroom. I have a big enough bathroom that I have a pen for my pups in it. When I first brought them home it just made sense as it was a linoleum floor and I figured it was handier than having them sitting in the middle of the kitchen. They like their pen and now spend a great deal of time in it. When I am getting ready for work in the morning we have a routine. I generally give them a treat before I start drying my hair or they bark at the hair dryer. Why, I have no idea… but the treat keeps them occupied and seems to help keep them quiet (sometimes my husband is still asleep in the adjoining bedroom, so having them barking at 4:30 or 5 a.m. isn't a great idea.). Until we built this house we had a very small bathroom (one. for six people.). When we designed this house we did the double-sink thing in the master bathroom and in-between is a space for a vanity and a small stool which I've come to like when putting on my face. So, anyhoo… I had turned around this morning to give the pups their treat, leaned toward them, and THUNK! I am suddenly sitting on my backside on the floor. The little stool (on wheels) slipped right out from under me… of course, popping my bad shoulder all wonky and whacking the back of my head on the chair.

Stop laughing.

I mean it.

I had a headache all day and the sore shoulders are more so, the neck now hurts worse, I'm feeling stiff and sore and stupid. Very, very stupid.

I don't even want to think about the next klutzy thing I'm gonna do. Seems I'm running out of new and different.

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Middle-aged. Anti-social. Mom. Grandma. Town-raised farmer's wife. Iowan. Want more? Come read the blogs.

18 thoughts on “Klutz”

  1. OMGoodness! No laughter here – a fellow klutz and empathetic faller-downer. Maybe the wheels need to go on that stool? Glad you didn’t bust anything, but take care of your shoulder & noggin…… heat & ice alternating, and pain relievers….. or, scotch & ice…… 😉

  2. I’m laughing but only as a fellow klutz can. My husband also uses that as my middle name. Unfortunately, I have fractured a couple of bones over the course of my career as a klutz, but I’m still on two feet, most of the time. LOL

  3. Hey, that sounds like a pretty bad fall! Maybe, you should get checked out, especially, if the headache continues.

    My poor mom was the worst at falling at the most inopportune times..once, I thought she was walking right behind me, but when I turned to look, she was nowhere in sight. She had stubbed her foot against a little curb, fallen, and rolled half-way under the car! She wasn’t hurt at all, and we had a good laugh, but it could have been bad. I think I mentioned once before, that the two of us were like Lucy and Ethel. 🙂

    I hope you feel better, soon!

  4. I, too, am part of the klutz club. I have the tendency to stub my toes–and, yes, I know ALL about tripping UP the stairs! In all of my years I only have had one broken bone–my little toe, which broke when I stubbed it on the door frame, while running to the bathroom! I’m still not sure how I did it. 🙂

    Take care.

  5. oooh, ouch, sue. sorry about that. sounds like that was painful. i thought i was was biggest klutz around. i am head to toe in bruises. people probably think my husband beats me. the last really klutzy thing i did was a few weeks ago hanging stuff on my Wall at school. i was a little too ambitious and i slipped off the chair and landed with a hard and embarrasing thud on the floor. my forearm was completely black and blue from where i tried to brace myself from the fall. i was more humiliated than anything though!

    so, i can relate!! 🙂

  6. I’ve broken lots of bones, dislocated both shoulders, injured my neck. Not really because I’m a klutz, but because I like to do things right on the edge of losing control, and of course eventually I push a little to far, and I have an accident. Skateboarding scars, horse riding scars, driving scars, barbed wire scars.

    Of course there is the time I stepped on the cat in the dark and broke three ribs.

  7. Ouch! It would appear that you have a large following filled with klutzes (I’m one too!) Hope your neck and shoulders feel better soon!

  8. Hmmm, I had several girl friends when I was young tell me that I had to left feet…I didn’t believe them but then my boxing trainer told me the same thing. If there is something to bump into I bump it and if there is something to bang a knee on I bang it. And this time of year I pretty well avoid the big box stores with all that stuff stacked in the aisles..and do you know what a stack of pumpkin cans sounds like when they hit a concrete floor in a grocery store? No, I don’t either…

  9. I feel for you, Sue! As my nickname as a kid was Miss Fart,stumble and fall…and lets just say things haven’t got much better in that area with age.

    You might try putting an ice pack on the sore part of your neck. It can help with any inflamation caused by the fall. Ibuprofen helps with that also. And as I have had to do my share of warding off future pain from a fall; popping a muscle relaxer and going to bed seems to really keep problems from setting in.

    I hope you’re feeling better soon, my friend.

    Healing hugs,


  10. Also a klutz. And not an athlete. Once in PE class while playing flag football I scored a touchdown. For the other team. Oops! I’d run to the wrong side of the field.

  11. You sound just like me!! I was a terror in my college chemistry lab. I wreaked so much havoc, TAs who weren’t even in charge of my section would come over and nervously ask whether I was doing ok. And I too have fallen down stairs, knocked my head on stuff and bruised my tail bone sitting down where there was no chair…

  12. I am so sorry you hurt your shoulder. I totally understand though. I am a horrible klutz. I have this coined term for my body called “the mystery bruise”. I don’t scan myself for them, but when I am in the shower, I constantly find big bruises on my legs and arms. I do have low blood iron, but I take supps for them. Sorry, off topic.

    My biggest problems are:
    1. I fall down all the time. Sober.
    2. If I have coffee, it will end up somewhere other than my mouth.
    3. We used to play “what did Michelle have for lunch?” at work due to the fact that my boobs catch EVERYTHING that falls off my fork.
    4. Given ten feet of space between the corner of ANYTHING and the actual corner, I will bump into the corner of the thing.

    Hugs, and I hope you are feeling better.

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