Throughout the years I have tried hard to be understanding of your life, perhaps my guilt leading me to overcompensate for your shortcomings. When we divorced many many years ago, I did everything I could to be pleasant to you, your family, and eventually your new wife. Although I was seething with anger every time you blew off your kids' weekend visits, I bit down on the anger and never spoke to or around the kids with anything but good where you were concerned. I wished you only the best as you gradually stepped out of their lives and became a ghost of a father to them.
As they grew, they learned you were not to be counted on. I heard time after time of family gatherings with your family that you never attended. Birthdays that passed without even a phone call. Numerous times when your kids worried about you… and wondered if you ever had a thought about them. If it hadn't been for your parents and siblings, I wonder if you ever would have contact with your now-grown children?
Then came weddings. You appeared on cue to walk your daughter down the aisle and to play 'host' at your son's rehearsal dinner… all the while you have not been 'dad' for a very, very long time. Oh, and didn't offer a nickel toward helping to pay for anything. Just let everyone assume you had. Bitter? Yeah. I'm getting there.
I think the final straw has come. You have known what your daughter is going through because your parents have told you, your siblings have told you, your son has told you… and yet? Not one inkling of support until your sister finally comes from out-of-town and lays a gigantic guilt trip on you to go with her to the hospital to visit. Then I hear you only stayed about an hour. One hour out of the two she gets for visits… and lives for because of the boredom she suffers the rest of the time she is there. An hour to talk about all that you haven't spoken of for months? An hour to let her know you love her? Did you even tell her you love her?
I will not say anything. It isn't my place anymore. Still? It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth and anger in my soul.