Small Town

Posted by Sue on July 10, 2008 in Deep Thoughts, Life |

I've lived my life in big cities and small towns. Since I've been married I've lived in the country, outside of a fairly good sized town. Not a big city, not really a small town. It is a college town, so the population fluctuates depending on the time of the year and the number of students who are in town at any one time. Still, at the core it is a pretty small town.

My kids grew up here and so did my husband. Since I was the outsider, I've had to get to know people over time… my husband still knows more people in the area than I ever will. My kids probably know more of the younger generation than I do, too.

When things happen in our little community the news spreads like wildfire.  Especially bad news. Especially shocking news.

It has been a summer of death… for the nation, for people my family know… I don't know how many people my daughter has had touch her life this summer that are gone, but too many for one season.

On Tuesday my husband called me at work with the news that a man who was a former neighbor, farmer, friend, and who had a couple of children who were in some of my kids' classes… shot himself dead. Another death this summer.

His family had been farming in Iowa for years, then in Iowa and Texas for a few years before they decided to pack it in and move the whole operation to Texas. That was about five or six years ago. We'd heard various rumors over time… that he'd quit farming and was selling RV's. That he'd gotten some bulldozers and gone to help clean up after Katrina. Who knows what the truth was?  He had a problem with alchohol many years ago, and don't even really know if he ever got a handle on that. Anything could have been the catalist. He just didn't seem the type. He seemed too determined to be rich and have it all and worked like a dog to get there – working his whole family as well.

My heart goes out to his family. They worked so hard to make this life a good one. They tried to help him when he was troubled and seemed to be a very close family. I unfortunately can imagine the hell they must be going through.

This has been one really stressful year… I'm ready for it to be done now.


  • Sherri says:

    Suicide doesn’t end pain. Suicide multiples pain it so that everyone who loves you gets the same amount you have. Even those who just know you get a share.


    Deep breath.

  • sizzle says:

    It’s often the survivors left behind who have the worst time of it. My heart goes out to them.

  • mr_g says:

    I’m so sorry to hear that – especially for his family.

    I do think there is some weird cosmic cloud or something that’s been hanging around for far too long. The astrology folks talk about Neptune being in retrograde and that causing a lot of introspection and fated events – whatever that means. I don’t know what it is, but there is definitely something “going on” on a larger scale than I can fathom.

  • Becky says:

    I agree with the others, people that suicide don’t realize what they do to their loved ones. I knew someone that did it in junior high and his family never recovered from it (not to mention the 6-year-old that found him in the first place).

  • Nat says:

    Suicide is so incomprehensible… so hard for those left behind. I hope you hang in there. Big hugs.

  • gorillabuns says:

    It is just so sad.

  • You and me both. I don’t know what the deal is with 2008, but it is racking up to be a really sucky-ass year.


  • Michael says:

    Mike Altman was wrong when he wrote “Suicide is Painless” of course he was only 14 at the time and no one should take bad advice from a fourteen year old.

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