I was under the mis-conception that last winter was a long one. Last winter went on and on into the spring with rain and cold and gloomy gray clouds that sucked the life out of everything and everyone. It took a toll on my eldest daughter, sinking her depression to lows that none of us thought could ever be. Not her. No way.
Then this winter came and it became a bit darker than the one before. Economic hard times have hit many families in so many ways. We've been lucky in that regard. We know it.
This winter snow became ice more often that snow. Ice that was slick and deceptive in patches. One thing led to another and friends were lost, family lost, injuries sustained. Then news filtered down about friends in the blogosphere losing loved ones, pets and human… children, parents. It seemed to go on and on.
My daughter is back to struggling. Again. The ECT helped, but not, it seems, for very long. For a little while she was her old self again. Joyful, even. Now she has dark days which, although she's not had to be hospitalized yet again, lead me to fear it could be returning. The darkness that swallowed her once. Her doctor is changing her medications and she's been staying home from work… I'm hopeful that this will be a solution and not just a brief interlude. I love her so much… I don't want her to have these dark times. I want to take it away, to make it all better. Isn't that what mom's are supposed to do?
The sun is out today, but the temperature is hovering barely above zero. It is deceptive… everything looks okay, but it isn't. I want this long winter to be over, in so very many ways.