Oh, wait… did I say her name was Karma? Kidding. That's not her name, but for now we'll just call her the Bitch. It works.
Over the years I've done this blog, her name has come up from time to time. This would be my sister-in-law. One of them. The one who is married to my husband's brother. Oh, wait… that would be was married to my husband's brother.
Yes, it is true. They've divorced. In the months I've been barely blogging, things have gone downhill in the perfect family department. They were the perfect family. Ask them, they'd tell you. They had “The Boys” (who were also perfect) and they were the most wonderful parents on the face of the planet. Then something bad happened.
I've always said you can't possibly know and understand all that happens in a relationship unless you are one of the two people in it. You'll be spoon fed whatever version of events the person telling you wants you to hear, and it is rarely showing them in a bad light. However, after years of being exposed to these people I can confidently say… it was her fault. This woman has been TB (the bitch) for years. Yes, my brother-in-law is the kind of man who appears to need a strong woman – one who will tell him what to do, where to go, how to think, etc. However, she took this to a new level.
I'm not sure when it all started to slide away, but there were signs. She'd worked at a company for years – ever since high school – and was only a few years away from retirement when she decided that she wasn't being treated the way she should be and ended up quitting her job. I'm sure she thought the said company was going to come to a screeching halt when she did, but guess what? It went on just fine without her. They did not come begging for her to come back. This bruised her ego in many ways, I'm sure. She was always a woman who had rather grandious ideas of herself anyway. She would tell us she was a “buyer” for this company – a pretty prestigious position. Then we would find out from other sources inside the company that there was no way she was a buyer.
She was the kind of woman who gossiped about everyone in town and claimed she not only knew everyone in town but knew them well and were good friends… then you'd talk to the supposed friends and bring up her name and they'd get that look on their faces. You know the look. The one where someone has just been given a mouthful of shit and told it is yummy. Yeah. She was known to them, but friends? Good friends? Only in her own mind.
So now she had another job… one that didn't last long because (her explaination) they put her in a corner and she didn't have any contact with other people. Huh. Could it be because she is such a troublemaker that doesn't really get along with others that they were trying to isolate the problem? Maybe not… maybe she just really did feel out of her comfort zone. So then she got a different job. A job at a bank. This is a woman who would tell the CIA's secrets to anyone who asked, I certainly didn't want her working in my bank! The fact she was working in my mother-in-law's bank made me more than a little uncomfortable, but it wasn't my place to speak. Next time I heard she'd changed jobs ( a few months later) she was working for a company who did brand placement in grocery stores, etc. She did some traveling, but not out of state and never overnight. So why did she start staying out overnight?
Curiouser and curiouser.
At Thanksgiving last year we'd started hearing rumblings there were problems in the marriage. Still, they showed up at MIL's with smiles and family group photos and a sweetness and light. My BIL had already told my husband he was going to be leaving but his wife wasn't supposed to know that we knew. Not only did we know, but MIL knew, my other sis-in-law knew (my hubs' sister) and most of the family knew. I guess The Bitch's parents didn't know yet so that was why they were being all hush-hush about it.
Finally, he moved out to an apartment and the craziness began…. well, no, I take that back. It got worse. Now he wasn't living there but he was still supposed to be taking care of his wife and the house and helping with her parents and everything was supposed to stay the same except he wasn't living there.
One of the boys graduated from high school and that was a big dog and pony show – with BIL helping to fix up the house and having the reception there, with lots of people there who were all supposed to play dumb that they were seperated. So bizarre.
Papers were filed and it got all wonky. She wanted him paying lots of bucks for child support for the one boy still living at home. She insisted on keeping the house so the boy wouldn't have his life disrupted and in the next breath would threaten the child that if they had to move because of his dad, they would have to get rid of his dog. The kid in question is in his teens. What a bitch.
Court came and went and it was determined the boy would share custody time with BIL and TB… but BIL would be paying child support and would make payments toward the house, etc., until it was sold – which the court ordered would happen. The oldest boy said he was moving out (he'd gotten a good paying job and could now support himself) and TB put her foot down and said no, he couldn't move out. What? He was 19. He could do whatever the hell he wanted to do! The day after they went to court, BIL went to the house when the younger boy called and told him his mom had changed all the locks and taken the garage door openers… and didn't even bother to tell her kids or give them keys and left them to fend for themselves for hours until she got home.
She became mean and nasty and vindictive. More so than usual.
It came out that she'd been sleeping around with someone she'd known in high school. She had even taken him to pick up the younger boy from his soccer games… and this was all before they were even seperated! He lived in another town and it came to light that an accident she had last winter when she totalled their van had been when she'd been on a trip to see this guy… instead of a co-worker as she'd claimed at the time. Recently it has come out that this guy has a sister who owns a bar in this town and she's been going there and working at the bar on weekends when she doesn't have the boy with her. Funny enough – even days when she does has the boy she still has occasions where she 'disappears' and will call him up and tell him to “go stay with a friend overnight” because she won't be home that night. Good kid that he is, he usually calls up his dad and goes there.
She has a hissy fit if BIL has the boy more than he should, yet has isolated both boys to the point they hate her guts and don't want to have anything to do with her. BIL has recently instigated full custody action against her for the younger boy after an altercation that left the boy slapped by his mother and the mother pinned up against the frig by the boy. Not a good situation. The boy also tried to run away one night and moved himself in with his dad – without his dad realizing what was happening. However, the dad was smart enough to first call the cops and explain what was going on and that he hadn't kidnapped his son, then to get his son to realize he could go to jail for contempt of court unless he stayed with his mom until they could get all this settled. Oldest boy moved out a week or so ago but is planning on moving into a house with his dad in a few weeks when the house is ready. Both boys get along great with their dad and call him at least once if not more a day just to talk.
In a fitting round of karma… she recently got fired from her job for a.) missing too much work – skipping work to go to the boyfriend's bar, I've heard b.) not being able to learn a new computer system at work in a timely fashion – hard to do if you aren't there, huh and c.) making trouble at work – gee. 'nuff said on that one.
Not a week later, she got rear-ended by a car that pushed her into another car and smooshed her vehicle all to hell.
I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. I mean… with all the years of being a bitch, The Bitch, she surely has enough saved up to keep this going downhill for awhile longer.
I know I should feel badly for this woman. I feel sorry for a marriage gone bad after 25 years. I feel sorry for the kids who are being treated like a commodity by their mother and who have resorted to hate to get through the day. I don't like to see anyone struggling to make relationships a battleground instead of making them work well for everyone's advantage. Still? As horrid as she's been all these years I can't help but think… who better deserves this? She had it coming. Karma…yeah, she's a bitch.