My father is the king of innuendo. His favorite line when I was a kid was to say something risque’ to someone, then say, “It takes two – you must be thinking the same thing! I was talking totally innocently”. Uh huh. Right. When you’re a teenager, this becomes the point where you want the floor to open up and swallow you before the person he is talking to figures out he’s related to you.
When my Uncle (my mother’s brother) was in college, he came to see us for dinner and brought a girl. My dad took it upon himself to tease them about when they were getting married! As it turned out, they DID get married, but he couldn’t know that at the time. He was guessing, since it was the first girl my Uncle had brought to meet us.
Well, he’s older, but still just as bad. A couple of weeks ago when we had the family over for my son’s graduation, he brought his newly ‘formalized’ girlfriend. I say this, because my son has always had friends who were girls. Just friends. Pals. He’s had some girlfriends in the past, but even then he still had the pals. He’s just that kind of a guy. So, recently he and this girl decided they would become more than pals and would ‘officially’ start dating. Enter my father. Let’s put it this way, by the time I got out to the deck, my dad had grilled her to where her face was this red. He had the nerve to ask her how their sex life was, and how often…! Sheesh, Dad! He cleaned it up a bit when MIL walked out and said he’d asked girlfriend how often they….kissed. Right.
I’m glad ES warned her. I apologized to her, but sometimes that’s just not enough. Geez…