What a nice bunch you are! I ask for advice… and you actually answer me! I love my blog-buddies…
Okay, here's the scoop. I did talk to my son. First off, I was rather amused to find that his fiance was under the impression I hadn't even been invited! She was ready to get into it with her family for not inviting me. Gosh! Luckily, he spoke to youngest daughter the day before and she told him I had been invited and was trying to figure out what to do. Crisis averted! Whew!
My son and DIL2B were both fine with me not attending. Although I've only spoken to him so far, I'm going to call her – probably tonight. He had already told her I might not go, however, and she had no problem with that. I will also be a good RSVP-er and call and let the hostess know I'm not going to be able to attend. I don't think I'll have to come up with an excuse, but I have plenty if I need one – actually, a very valid one is that spring field work is just around the corner and we may be busy farming by then. The other ones are still hovering in the back of my mind, but this is the one that is the most important and has the least amount of guilt associated with it.
I thought Jen had a terrific idea with the whole sending food thing, but then I realized these people are probably in another stratosphere where "taste" is concerned and I'm not sure I'm up to their standards. Yes, our son is marrying a very lovely girl, but she's also from a very "well-to-do" family. As down-to-earth as she is, her family is, well… not. So, I will probably do the second most suggested thing and just find a gift from the registry and send it.
After discussion with Hubs, it was decided that even if no one else holds a shower for DIL2B in our part of the country, I and my daughters will. I know son was saying she felt she didn't have many friends here, but after talking to him we came up with several names of people that they hang around with and she is friends with – as well as the several family members on our side that live in the area, like my mom and MIL. I think we'll be able to come up with a good group. Yes, I'll invite her mother and sisters as well… and unlike me, they probably WILL come.
The next hurdle… should I invite members of my ex's family to the shower I have? Yikes. My son is by my previous marriage and although we divorced when he was 2, there has still been contact. I'm not sure if they would have their own shower for her? There are several of them: I would invite my ex-mother-in-law, ex-sister-in-laws (2), and ex-brother-in-law's wife. Probably would invite my ex's current wife, also. Hmmm… maybe this requires another phone call with my son.
Wedding for younger son isn't nearly as complicated.