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Neighbors? We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Neighbors!

Posted by Sue on May 29, 2007 in Asshats, Neighborly Love |

You just knew it was a holiday weekend without looking at the calendar. How? The neighbors.

Sunday evening. Perfect weather. Not too hot, not too cool. My youngest daughter and I had just finished the day-long "cemetary run" – leaving at 7 in the morning and returning home about 6 p.m. We went to four cemetaries in four different counties, the furthest being down in the southeast part of the state about 10 miles from the Missouri state line. I was tired and looking forward to a short nap in the perfect temperature… just a breeze blowing through the open window… wafting in the sounds of… screaming? Wha? I lay in bed for a few minutes trying to figure out what I was hearing. Several voices laughing and yelling  – some of them kid voices screeching in high-pitch squeels. Adult voices there, too. I groaned to myself and debated whether it was worth getting up to shut the window. My gosh, I thought, those voices are loud! I thought they must be carrying from the neighbors across the road. We don't normally hear much from them as there is timber, a creek and a road between us and them and their house sits way back on their property. Although they have a pond and a picnic-type area (as I'm guessing by the picnic table in said area) that is closer to the road, rarely do we ever hear or see anyone in that space. I don't know these people very well except I believe their children are grown and hearing all these young voices I presumed it must be the grandchildren come to visit.

Wrong.

Hubs went investigating. He came in from the deck and announced there were people just south of our house wading in the creek! WTF? This was what all the racket was. To understand the logistics, the creek runs behind our house along the road, then veers further inland across the south end of where our house sits, then again turns south and runs along the edge of our field. They own, for the most part, the other side of the creek. However, it's interesting that a wee bit of a catty-corner on our side is theirs… and, when you get south by the field edge we own some on their side of the creek – practically next to their house. At any rate, they have lots of access to the creek that isn't so close to being in our back yard… that never seems to matter to them, tho.

Hubs and I couldn't resist… we walked out there to see what all the racket was about. When he asked the guy what was going on, he just said they were "walking". okay….   "We're just walking in the creek"…. uh huh…  "We're with Rednecks*"…  that explains a lot.  It doesn't explain why you're letting your small children play in a rain-swollen creek, but it does explain why you are HERE…technically on OUR PROPERTY… grrrrr. We were nice. We kept our mouths shut. Interestingly enough, as we were walking back to the house they drifted back to the neighbors.

Lest you think that was the end of the holiday celebrations… yes, you guessed it… they started shooting their guns about 8 o'clock and were still at it when I went to sleep at 10:30….'cause you know, nothing says "honor your veterans" like shooting clay pigeons.

*name of neighbors has been changed to relect personality traits. Not to insult rednecks. I know some rednecks and they're nice people. I just couldn't name them the Assholes, as I'd like to.

3 Comments

  • Michael says:

    Those neighbors of yours, lol. Who knew consistency was a bad trait?
    I think it is time to take up a new out door hobby…
    Polka, or John Phillips Sousa is always good. Play it loud and often and take it to the edge your neighbors property, maybe a speaker run up a pole at the border) the moment they stop with the gunfire (assuming everyone is tired and going to bed and not killed each other) let her rip. I know a good source outlet for sound dampener headsets that really work.
    If that is impractical and you don’t want to walk around with headgear like Jerry’s kids, then perhaps forming a Clay Pidgeon Coalition movement might be a better solution. You can get the local campus youth fired up so they will go march around your neighbors shouting and sporting protest signs. Note: it may be important to approach certain jocks and cheerleaders to influence as after all Clay Pidgeons aren’t technically alive, endangered, or otherwise a threat to global warming…

  • Kay says:

    Just when you think you’ve moved away from the noises of the city and all that goes with it, you get this. If this is going to be a, “happening,” on every holiday, maybe Michael’s suggestion is a good one. Ha! I’ll keep good thoughts that they only get together on one day a year for the gun shooting.

    Are you sure they are shooting away from your house? I had a problem years ago with Lake neighbors and screaming at them that I had a sick kid with ear aches shut them up and they quit the shooting. My next move was calling the sheriff because they were way too close to my house and they were drunk, too.

  • Olivia Kroth says:

    I know how you feel, Sue. I have noisy neighbours, too. They are a real pest. And they are much closer to me than yours, hammering, sawing away all the time.

    Olivia

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