Holy Mother of God

Sorry. I couldn’t help it. The devil made me do it. If you are offended at adult subject matter, you may want to move along. Come back tomorrow when our regularily scheduled program is back.

Why, do you ask am I swearing under my breath – and out loud – and possibly louder than this house has been rated? It’s my SIL’s fault. (No, it really isn’t. I just wanted to see if he was listening… )

A year ago we decided we’d be responsible homeowners and learn to change the batteries in our smoke detectors. You must understand, we may be a bit paranoid, but we have a lot of smoke detectors. (Remember, my parents’ house burned to the ground – and that was after we built this house!) We have seven, to be exact. Seven smoke detectors that are hardwired into the house electric and have battery backups.

A year ago my lovely (and very tall) SIL (the newest one) got put to work replacing batteries in smoke detectors. He’s a sweetheart and would never argue with his MIL (me) so when he is asked to put that extra height to work, he naturally volunteers. At some point along the way we discovered that either not all the ‘new’ batteries were as ‘new’ as they should have been, or, now that I’ve read the instructions for the 15th time, maybe they weren’t exactly the ones they wanted us to put in them.

For some reason, not all of them have a battery back up, either. I’ve not figured that out. I was just sure they were all supposed to have a battery back up, but if SIL can’t find it and he’s an engineer, by God, they must not have a battery. I trust him. He wouldn’t lie to me.

About a month ago, in the middle of the night, I swear the smoke detector alarm went off. Once. Just once it sounded it’s blaring electronic ‘wake the fuck up’ sound. I sat straight up in bed (because, of course, there is one of these detectors not more than ten feet from my head on the ceiling of my bedroom!). I looked over at Hubby, and he hadn’t moved a muscle. He was still snoring, the pups weren’t barking, the house was quiet. I must be going crazy! I decided I must have been dreaming.

Until Sunday morning…right about 3 a.m.

The fucking alarm went off again. Four beeps. Screaming, serious ‘didn’t you hear me say wake up?’ beeping. Silence. Then, it goes off again!!!!! OMG! I can’t believe this is happening! I race all over the house, making sure there really was no fire or smoke. The alarm beeps four time, goes silent, and never. beeps. again.

I’m thinking on Sunday, ‘ I really should try and check those smoke detectors‘. I even call SIL to see if he remembers which ones had batteries since I’d have to hike my butt up higher than my butt is supposed to be off the ground to change them. Unfortunately, he didn’t remember. I forget about it. Bad move. Yep,you know it…

This morning. 3:30 a.m. … BEEP!BEEP!BEEP!BEEP! … this is not the little chirping cricket that tells you the battery is going dead. This is the “YOU IGNORED ME THE FIRST TWO TIMES, BITCH, NOW YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME!” Oh, God in heaven…! This time, we listened to it repeat six times. I thought about throwing the circut breaker, just to shut it up… but then we realized we’d have to listen to the cricket the rest of the night.

It stops. I lay back down. Fifteen minutes later… BEEP!BEEP!BEEP!BEEP!…. FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK! Hubby looks at me and says, “I could sleep through the beeping, but every time you launch out of bed you scare the shit out of me!”

I climbed up my ladder tonight after work. I think I found the one old battery. I replace it. I guess we’ll find out, oh… about 4 a.m. tomorrow morning…

I’ve Been Tagged!

I’ve been tagged by Lisa. I did this meme not tooooo awfully long ago, but I’m going to try out some different answers this time:

TEN YEARS AGO…I was pulling myself out of a hole of despair. Some people call it a nervous breakdown, some people call it falling off the cliff into the abyss. I just know I lost most of a year of my life. However, as bad as it was, it was a turning point in my life and I’ve been much better since then.

FIVE YEARS AGO…I started as a part-timer at my current job with the only thought in my head being doing something fun to keep my computer skills up in case I ever had to go back to work full-time. Within 6 weeks the person I was working for quit and I was the only one doing what I do for the whole company. Welcome to overtime!

ONE YEAR AGO…We were just settling into our new house and still walking through it every day saying “we aren’t worthy”…

YESTERDAY…I marveled at the fact that I had met so many new people in blogland and they were even commenting! I relished the time I got to read my daughter’s blog and get a little insight into her life and know I was getting that warm fuzzy feeling I get when I talk to her in person.

5 SONGS I KNOW ALL THE WORDS TO…Do you have to know the RIGHT words? I know most words to all the major Christmas songs – or I make them up.

5 SNACKS …black olives, green seedless grapes, m&m’s, cashews, string cheese

5 THINGS I’D DO WITH $100 MILLION…pay off all our debts. help our kids get houses. start my own (or sponsor) a no-kill animal shelter. invest. build a greenhouse.

5 PLACES I’D RUN AWAY TO…home. home. home.home. home. Did I mention I like it at home?

5 THINGS I’D NEVER WEAR…high heels. mini-skirts. see-through shirts. daisy dukes. spandex.

5 BOOKS/TV SHOWS I LOVE… The Dark Tower series by Stephen King. The X-files. All the CSI’s. Medium. Several that have been cancelled.

GREATEST JOYS…my kids, critters, husband, home, and time off to enjoy it all. (Not necessarily in that order)

I’m not going to pass this on to anyone, as I did that pretty recently and don’t want to bug anyone. Feel free to use it and let us know your answers if you volunteer, but I’m not going to push… Thanks, Lisa, for making me think a little harder again.


Yes, I’m shouting. Can anyone tell me why my posts are now going over their allotted space and getting hidden behind the links over there —->??? I’m really confused. (I heard that. I get confused often. I’m old. I’m allowed. I’m going to get waaaay more confused before I get out of here, trust me!)

Update: Now I go back into the blog and it’s fine. WTF? My head hurts. Nevermind.

Your Other Twin

Hubby and I went to dinner last night at a popular local restaurant. We got into a discussion about the waitress… both of us thought she looked like some actress and couldn’t figure out who… he kept saying “the one who got arrested”… and I’m thinking, yeah, I know who that is, but I can’t think of her name, but I don’t really think she looks like that. By the end of dinner we figured it out. He came up with “Ryder” and I came up with “Wynona”. However, I still didn’t think that was who she looked like.

Okay, now, the funny thing is, he was talking about the waitress in the red shirt – who I barely looked at, and I was talking about the one in the blue. I was concentrating on her – she looked more like Lauren Graham from “Gilmore Girls”. The one in red walks up.

Hubby: See? Doesn’t she?
Me: Um…oh, yes, yes she does! I was looking at the other waitress!

Waitress looks at us quizzically.

Hubby: Have you ever been told you look like Wynona Ryder?
Waitress: Yes, I get that all the time…especially from my family
Hubby: Just so you know, I meant it in a good way…

How else was she supposed to take it? That we thought she was a shoplifter? Gotta love him.

The Power of Pink

There is a controversy brewing here in the state of Iowa. It’s been going on for years, but has just now come to light and it’s getting ugly. It’s the power of pink. At one of the state run universities, the opposing teams’ football locker room has been renovated pale pink. Everything – including the carpeting, metal lockers, brick walls, sinks, shower floor — even the urinals. Pink.

All hell is breaking loose. Erin Buzuvis, a law professor, said she has received death threats for saying the color scheme promotes sexism and homophobia. Buzuvis said she will raise the issue on Tuesday when a committee seeks public comment on a report it recently compiled on the university’s compliance with NCAA regulations.

Me? I think it’s funny. For heaven’s sake, people, lighten up. It’s a JOKE. It’s meant to hurt the other teams’ moral. It’s meant as a psychological JOKE. The pink locker room goes back to an earlier coach (several years ago), and has been expanded in the current renovation of the stadium –So what?

Since when did pink mean you were a homosexual? (Remember, it wasn’t the Pink Teletubbie they went after…!) Yes, traditionally we all know the pink or blue blankets for the newborns are supposed to be girl and boy, but since when can’t a girl baby be dressed in blue? Is a boy baby put to bed with a hand-me-down pink blanket going to grow up sexually frustrated? And how many of us are old enough to remember the big trend in the 70’s to get away from boring white dress shirts for men and many, many men wore pink or salmon or peach ones? My own blessed, as-conservative-as-they-come FIL even owned a pink golf shirt!

You don’t hear people in the Caribbean or Florida complaining about all the pink houses… to them it’s a matter of culture and pride. They are artsy and cool! When was the last time someone came out and said they were supposedly indicative of a homosexuals’ home? Geez! Even if they did, would we really care?

I think this country has gone a little overboard in trying to be P.C. For heaven’s sake, people…it’s pink. It’s FUNNY. Lighten up.

Pitter Patter Pitter

No, I’m not talking about little feet. Geez… Okay, I guess that could have been little feet. You’re excused for thinking that. No, I’m referring to rain! It’s raining! I don’t ever remember it was supposed to rain today… I think they’re talking it could be because of Rita, if you can believe that… clear up here in Iowa!

At any rate, it’s been a rather lethargic day. The ‘big’ race tonight is postponed until tomorrow afternoon due to rain continuing up where the track is. It’s pretty well stopped here for the time being, but I expect it may rain a bit more. One of those days where the sun comes out just long enough to heat it up and fire up more rain. I’m doing my ‘jammie day’ veggie routine. YES! YES! YES! The only thing that could make it better is if I had a couple of my kids here veggin’ with me…

I watched “Threshold” again last night. Not too bad. It could become a fav. I forgot “Firefly” was on, though…damn. I can’t wait until the 30th when the movie comes out. (“Serenity”). Should be very good.

I was reading, then fell asleep before Hubby called to let me know about the race. Stayed awake then until he came home, chatted a bit, and went back to sleep, only to wake a short time later with the pups. I just don’t think I ever got into a deep sleep ’cause I’m dragging today.

I must say, you people are the best! I’ve been playing 20 questions with one of you (mwhaaa haa haa – I’m not telling, you’ll have to try and figure out who it is) – only we’re sticking to about 10 questions at a time. It’s very eye-opening and is making me THINK. Geez… who would guess that you people were so damn SMART? Holy Cow! My brain hurts!

Now I’m probably going to hear some lecture about opening up and letting someone know who I am out here in blogland. I admit it, I’m probably a little naive. I’ve told a couple of people my real address and have gotten things in the mail. That’s been fun. It’s also been rewarding to know they trust me enough to let me know who they really are and where they live! It’s nice to be trusted.

So far, so good. Let’s keep it that way, ‘kay? I’m having a good time… let’s not spoil the fun.

For Me

We’ve all said it. This blog is mine. It is my thoughts or feelings or views of the moment. It is mine. If you don’t agree with it, don’t read it. I’m not going to go away just because you don’t like me. I don’t care.

Having said that, we all feel a bit conflicted, because somewhere in that tiny little nut of a brain there is a voice saying… but I want them to like me! Don’t shake your head, ’cause I know that happens to you, too. As much as we want to be our own people, we are still secretly thrilled when the comment number goes higher or the stat counter goes up and we get positive feedback for whatever witty or logical or heartwrenching or gutwrenching thing we’ve said today. We all do it.

I like to put your name over there… on the list… when I find your site and I like to read it. When I find someone who connects to a part of me. It makes it easier for me to get to you. That’s really all it is. A personal list of things I like to read or do or play with. It isn’t a popularity contest, no matter what anyone tells you. Really. Sure, I get excited when you put my site on yours… that’s just plain cool! …But, are you doing it because you like me, or because you feel obligated to return the favor?

Please say you like me.

Everyone wants to be loved and accepted. Or at least liked and accepted. I’m no different. This is my blog. This is my life, my views, my random mumblings out in space. They may not make a hill of beans difference in your life, but somewhere along the way I would like to think that my voice will be out there to be heard by my future. Can you imagine if you could find some ‘get in your head’ type ramblings by, say, your grandmother? How cool would that be? To get a glimpse into her real personality. What was going on in her head at different times of the year, the month, the day?

Call me egotystical. I can take it. Remember. It’s all about me. You’re just along for the ride, if you choose to come…

SHHHHHHH! Can You Keep a Secret?

You remember what I am was supposed to be doing tonight?
No, I’m not sick.
I’m not even pretending I’m sick.
I’ve got an even BETTER excuse.
YS is racing tonight! Woot!
No, I’m not going…
But MIL doesn’t know that.
She’ll be at the birthday party.
The Command Performance
If anyone tells I’m gonna track you down, I swear!
Hubby is thrilled.
He gets to go racing by without his momma – like a big boy!
Not gonna go.
You can’t make me.
Shaddup! I am not evil.
Selfish, maybe.
“Only child syndrome” ?
I’ll except that.
Not I, says the Sue…
Looking forward to a night off.