You know the old thing about you should never write a response to someone in anger? It is always said you'll regret the things you say in the heat of the moment. Me? I've never actually found that giving myself more time before responding made me any less angry. If anything, I'm have just enough Irish blood in me that I tend to carry that grudge out a bit… oh, say, several eons. This could be one of those times.
It is also said you can pick your friends, but not your family. I find it is really nice when you can have family that are your friends. Hubs and I have been very lucky in that our children all (at least to this point in life) seem to not only love each other, but actually like each other. That's a huge blessing. Myself, I am an only child and the older I get the more I think there was a reason that had to be. I've talked before about my husbands' brother and sister and their families and how f*%ked up they are. Yeah. Well… here we go again.
When my father-in-law passed away several years ago, my husband took over the farming operation and took sole responsibility for that business which he and his dad had been part of their whole lives. One of the things that happened at that time, was all the farm equipment was appraised by an independent appraiser and all the machinery and equipment my husband had helped his father pay for once he was paying for again. Fair market value was placed on all the equipment and machinery, and a fair amount of interest was agreed on and my husband makes payments to his mother. A lot of the equipment was older, and over the years since he's taken over the farm, many pieces have had to be replaced. Still and all, the loan is in place and is being repaid on time. My husband also had a side-line job in the off season where he would do repair work on pickups, big trucks, some tractors, cars, etc. To that end, he put a lot of money into good tools, a hoist, and a large supply of parts and equipment. All of which was kept in his father's large morton building, aka the shop. We do not pay rent, per se, for this building, but we pay all of the utilities not only for the building, but for my mother-in-law's large home, as well as carrying the insurance on the building and contents.
Shortly after my father-in-law passed away, my husband locked up his toolbox and the shop to keep people like his brother from just going over and helping themselves to everything that wasn't nailed down. My MIL had a hissy fit when BIL went whining to her, and my husband was guilt-ed into unlocking everything again. BIL thinks nothing of breezing in, putting his rig on the hoist (without prior permission), using whatever tools and supplies are within reach, then backing into the open area of the shop and washing his vehicle. Nevermind it's us paying for the electricity, the heat, the soap, the bolts, nuts, tools, grease, oil, whatever else he's decided to use! This shit isn't free people!
Now we come to the current issue. As part of the equipment and machinery purchased from MIL a 30-year old pickup was on the list. It was my FIL's and though had been a great truck at one time, had been used. A lot. Hubs used it for a work truck for a number of years, and finally decided it wasn't reliable enough for that and put a snow plow blade on it and used it mainly in the winter for that purpose. This winter, a few weeks ago, the transmission went out. Deciding it wasn't worth the money and hassle to fix, Hubs was going to sell it. I mentioned to him that when his dad died his brother had expressed an interest in the truck and maybe he should give him first dibs on it. (In hindsight, I wish someone would have duct-taped my mouth shut.) He asked. BIL said he didn't know. How much did Hubs think it would cost to fix? Hubs didn't know. He just wanted it gone. BIL hemmed and hawed and never said anything more about it. Two weeks go by and Hubs has seen BIL in the mean time, and not one word is said about the truck. Hubs talks to a friend who might be interested. Yes, he was. He would buy it for $1500. He was out of town, and would get in touch when he returned in a couple of weeks.
Another week goes by and BIL brings up the truck. Hubs tells him it's sold. The shit hits the fan. Big-time. BIL tries to tell Hubs that he wanted it. Uh huh. Whatever. Hubs asks him if he really knows what's involved with fixing something like this… BIL has the nerve to say, "it won't be that big of a deal, I have a hoist and a transmission puller"… excuse me? WHO has the hoist and the transmission puller? Hubs blew a gasket. At the end of what will now be known as "the big blowup", neither of them were talking to each other. End of subject, right? Oh, so wrong.
Continue reading Giving Myself Time Never Got Me Any Closer to Being Calm