Watching Paint Dry

That's basically how Hubs and I feel about watching golf.  Mother-in-law golfs, father-in-law was a very good golfer when he was alive (maybe even better now, who knows?), and eldest son enjoys golfing. Me? I hate to watch, but probably wouldn't mind playing… if. If being the operative word. How many of use do something for the first time or two and if you have a lousy experience, just say to heck with it? I mean, really. Life is too short to screw around doing something you don't enjoy that you really don't have to do, right?

Several years ago we went on vacation with a bunch of friends to Wisconsin. It was an event that was pretty "guy-oriented", so during the day the guys would go do their thing and the women would do theirs. For the most part, that meant us women lay out by the pool (you know, back when sun-worshipping was a good thing) or went shopping or other mindless things. One day someone had the bright idea to golf on the small course attached to the motel. I will never be the same.

First, we were all wearing our swimsuits. We had shorts on, too, but basically were wearing next-to-nothing tops. I am pretty well-endowed and as such wear something "substantial" to "restrain" my "puppies". Oh, ye gods… I'm trying to do this so all the sickos in the world aren't finding me… Guess we'll see how well I do, huh?

So… here we are, golfing. I am being catcalled by women. Friends (or, aquantances more so) – who have had large quantites of sun and cold beverages (and I'm not talking iced tea, if you get my drift). All of these women are *ah-hem* flat… and you just know that pose you have to have to golf, where you put your arms straight out together? Well, things get squeezed into … oh, lord… just think of some porn star trying to accentuate her cleavage and you've got the picture. Only I was golfing. Innocent. Except for the loud, drunken women whooting at me.

The next humiliation was the inability of my club to hit the ball. I mean, there was no whiffing or divit or whatever… I wasn't even close. "Keep your eye on the ball"… "follow through"… uh huh. I did that. Honest. Nada. Zilch. Nothin'. This was not funny. I was incredibly humiliated. I mean, I didn't expect to be good at this, but I did expect to at least hit the damn thing. After several (count double-digits) tries, I became caddy and watched everyone else golf. *yawn*

About a month later, we were at one of the couples' houses who was an avid golfer and had been on the fateful trip. In the middle of a discussion of the trip, the golf escapade came up. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the woman jumped to her feet and exclaimed, "I've GOT it!" She got a gleam in her eye and declared we must go golfing. Right. Now. You can imagine how thrilled I was. Still, how could I resist that enthusism?

Off to the nearby course (where she had a membership, naturally). No slouch was she. Getting me some clubs rented, she set me up on the first hole, helped with my stance, and voila! I hit the ball! The first time. For a great distance (which I think was the point, if I remember correctly). In awe, I looked up to see her grinning ear-to-ear. "I figured it out!" she claimed. After she told me, it was glaringly obvious. So obvious, in fact, that I wondered why none of these avid golfers had come up with this solution while we were on the trip. I can only presume it had to do with the large quantities of cold beverages killing off those particularily important brain cells. Or, maybe those brain cells were only important to me. At that particular time.

The solution? Tall clubs. I am 5'9" tall. My friends are all lucky to be 5'4" tall. Whose clubs were I borrowing? Uh huh. I didn't have a chance in hell of hitting those balls. Laugh all you want, bitches. I made great cleavage.

Boredom

Yeah, I know… template has changed again. I didn't like the way I would scroll down the other one and the flowers would still stay in the same place. Also, I'm really not much of a "pink" person… a little goes a long ways. This one says "spring!" to me, too, without being quite so "girly". Did that make sense? Do I care?  It's Monday. *sigh*

Tic Toc

That’s about all that’s going on around here. Clock-watching. Waiting. I hate waiting. How about you? I used to be more patient. I don’t think it was in my youth… oh, maybe it was. I didn’t mind so much waiting in lines or waiting for things to happen. Do you suppose that it all ties in with the older we get the less time we feel we have and the less we want to waste it on a line somewhere?

*Gasp* … does that mean I’m getting old?

If I’m Awake It Must be Monday

Did everyone survive the Superbowl? Did you all get your wish? Me? I am so not a sports fan…

Daughter had some co-workers over to watch on the big screen. Hubs watched awhile with them, then decided young women yelling loudly was too much for him and came back upstairs. I played some WoW, read a book, watched some re-runs of “The Closer” that TNT was running all day. I bounced back and forth a bit to check the score and occasionally caught an over-priced commercial. All in all, it was a pretty laid back Sunday.

Now it’s Monday and I can’t figure out why I’m having such a terrible time waking up. It wasn’t like I over-did it yesterday. Could it be the -4 degree temperature outside this morning? (I don’t even WANT to know what the windchill is. Let’s just say, the dogs were outside about 15 seconds this morning. It must be cold.) Amazing as it sounds, and as illogical, it is supposed to snow later today and tomorrow. Only a couple of inches. Normally, this is too cold to snow. I know, it sounds weird, but trust me… that’s how it works. Hubs tells me the weather predictors are saying when it warms up a bit in the next week or so, we’re supposed to really get dumped on. You just know I’m smilin’ inside, right?

In other news, I expect a pat on the back. Okay, I’ll do it myself. The office is CLEAN. It is ORGANIZED. It is a miracle. The bookwork? Well, I have a day or so to finish, but I see the end in sight. Also, I cleaned out my pantry cupboards. You may not think this is a big deal, but trust me. I moved cake mixes and jello (to name just a bit) from the old house two years ago, probably never looking at the expiration dates THEN… and, yes, if it expired in 2002 I’m probably not going to be wanting to make it. Shaddup. Soooo… Hubs comes home and immediately states “you’ve been cleaning”. Does he have ESP? No. He knows because we have a little arrangement where as I put garbage sacked up in the garage, then he loads it into his pickup and hauls it down the drive to the dumpster. (We live in the country, remember?) It doesn’t take a genius to realize when he gets out of his truck and the whole wall is lined with garbage sacks two deep that there has been some serious cleaning going on in the house. What can I say? I’m a packrat. I admit it. However, once in a blue moon I get a wild hair and start pitching things. I have to be in just the right mood, or I look at something and think “I could do…(fill in the blank) with this.” When I’m like that, there is no sense even thinking about cleaning. At least, not the pitching out part. (I would like to take a moment in advance to apologize to my children for whatever they are going to have to sort through and get rid of after their mother leaves this earth. I hope that sometime between now and then I have the energy and the will power to get rid of most ofthis shit.)

Enough rambling. Happy Monday everyone!

Maintaining

  • For those of you who have been trying to e-mail me and can’t get me, I’m not sure what’s going on unless you have my old e-mail address (it got changed awhile back, not by anything I did but the company changed hands). Also, I noticed it wasn’t in my profile anymore. Don’t know when it went away – maybe when I updated Blogger? At any rate, I’m all back and operational again. To save you looking it up, it’s sesnyde at hughes dot net. You are smart enough to put it in the right way. (If you aren’t I don’t want to hear from you anyway!)
  • About the time I bitch about it being cold, it gets colder. Yeah. This weekend there are days we are supposed to have windchills of -30 something. Needless to say, you won’t see me far from the fireplace! It has to warm up a bit to snow…
  • I’m still working on getting everything loaded into the new ‘puter. Does this mean I have too much stuff? Possibly. We won’t discuss that. Haven’t even tried WoW yet. Afraid it will be too wonderful and I won’t get anything else done, and I have a few things I absolutely have to get done first. At least, that’s what my tax man says.
  • The office is almost done getting cleaned and organized. I may even post a picture when I’m done. I ran out of hanging file folders last night, so not quite there. Have to make an office supply run today. I love me some office supplies. The only reason I can figure is when I was little and my parents would go bowling every friday night, I was sent next door to my grandmothers’ house. She was a widow and worked in the state auditors’ office – as an auditor. Rather ahead of her time for that day and age. At any rate, when she would babysit me, one of the favorite games I played with my grandma was… you guessed it…. “office”. So, I figure maybe that’s where my love of all supplies office comes from. Proudly, I can say I’ve passed it down to at least one of my children.
  • Ironic that the post about the weather gets the most comments I’ve had for weeks. Hmmm… what does this say about my level of posts?

Strike Two!

…and another day has come and gone and the new ‘puter is still in the box.

I must add that I’m one step closer, tho’. I think I got Hubs all fixed up, and Son has everything at his house and connected – even if I still have some twinking to do on his as far as setting up the i-net, e-mail and so forth. (Don’t give me any grief. Twinking is an accepted technical term.)

Today? Maybe? I may even take tomorrow off from work just to make sure the bonding process is complete. Those of you who get new computers understand that, right?

Unreasonable Expectations

My hubs has it figured out. We both get frustrated (read grumpy) when we set unreasonable expectations for ourselves. Case in point? My new computer came yesterday afternoon! YIPPEE! Yes, I was doing the happy dance! I left work early to get it set up. Would you believe it is still in the box? Yeah. Why?

Well… in my family, when I get a new computer (it is usually me who gets the new one, however last time it was Hubs) I have enough children and spouse that I just pass my “old” ones down. Usually someone is ready to upgrade, and my “old” one is just that. This doesn’t happen without some planning. In this particular instance, Hubs’ computer isn’t that old, but he likes my monitor better – it’s bigger. Therefore, he’s getting my old monitor. His printer has been acting up. It works, but you have to finagle the paper a bit and he’s not patient when it comes to technology, so I’ve gotten him a new printer. His old printer, his old monitor, as well as my old computer is going to my youngest son. (Keeping up?)

Since my old computer is going away, I’m cleaning off the hard drive – after backing up all the things I wanted to move to an external hard drive my eldest son loaned me. In theory, this would be easy, however, I haven’t yet figured out what asshat decided it would be more cost-effective not to include the operating disks with computers anymore. Instead, they give you links to this and that and if you really, really, really want the disks, they’ll send them to you – for a fee. Needless to say, the links to this and that are long-gone and the simple process of restoring my system isn’t so simple anymore.

Hence, the unreasonable expectations. I wanted to have all my switching done last night and have my new ‘puter up and ready to go. *sigh* Yep. Still in the box. Maybe today…

Be Careful What You Wish For

Y’know how I was wanting it to snow? Yeah. Well… it came, although not as much as I’d hoped for. We only ended up with about 4 inches. But it blew. And it iced up. And my internet satellite is frozen in a cocoon of something-or-other that keeps it from working. Damnit. So… that’s why so quiet the past few days. I stayed home. I read. I slept. We finally had our meeting with the banker (and get to farm another year – yippee!). I even ordered a new computer for home (over the telephone).

I’ve missed the “outside” world of the internet more than I thought I would.

Of course, I came back to work to a pile of stuff a foot high and a list of calls to return a mile long. This is supposed to be the sloooow time. The time I can be gone and no one misses me! Guess I’ll have to hold out for February.